Am I what I seek to be?
Contribution by Esteban Rojas Nieto, Las Palmas, Canary Islands, Spain
We are going to explore a bit about attitudes, not about “looking to be” something specific like becoming a lawyer or a mechanic.
“Looking to be” implies yearning for a change, a transformation in the future.
Yearning is not a guarantee of becoming anything.
It might just express a desire not to be what I am now.
Here I note two aspects: looking for a change and that this is expected in the future.
Wanting a change often implies a non-acceptance of the present situation.
I do not like it or I want to be different. Based on this attitude, my intention may not exist to explore the present situation in depth in order to understand it thoroughly. If I do not understand it the paradox is that I will not really be able to change it. I will just be fighting against something that I dislike and that I want to get away from.
“Looking to be” cannot take place in the future, since I can only exist in the present. And that is what it is like when I set myself to observe honestly what happens inside me at this precise moment, in the present.