​Am I what I seek to be?

Contribution by Esteban Rojas Nieto, Las Palmas, Canary Islands, Spain

We are going to explore a bit about attitudes, not about “looking to be” something specific like becoming a lawyer or a mechanic.

“Looking to be” implies yearning for a change, a transformation in the future.

Yearning is not a guarantee of becoming anything. 

It might just express a desire not to be what I am now.

Here I note two aspects: looking for a change and that this is expected in the future.

Wanting a change often implies a non-acceptance of the present situation. 

I do not like it or I want to be different.  Based on this attitude, my intention may not exist to explore the present situation in depth in order to understand it thoroughly.  If I do not understand it the paradox is that I will not really be able to change it.  I will just be fighting against something that I dislike and that I want to get away from.

“Looking to be” cannot take place in the future, since I can only exist in the present.  And that is what it is like when I set myself to observe honestly what happens inside me at this precise moment, in the present.