Am I the one who wants?

Contribution by Isabel Hernández Negrín, Las Palmas, Canary Islands, Spain.

In my opinion, I represent desire rather than being the one who desires.  I know that some of you will pull a face at that.  What do I mean?

I will try and explain myself.  Throughout the day I feel certain urges that cause me to drink, eat, go to the bathroom, rest, talk to someone, etc.

In many cases we can trace where the urge comes from, what it makes us do, where it takes us, especially if it is about basic needs.

But there are other urges that lead me to desire and do things that are not basic needs.

Imagine that I have a car that works, but I want to change it and get a different one; I have a decent house, but I want a different one.  I have enough clothes, but I want some others that are fashionable.  If I am thirsty and drink a large glass of water, would I have another one straight away?

No, if it were offered to me I would undoubtedly say that I did not want it because I had just had a drink.  If what I desire is not really necessary what drives me to it?

There seems to be something in me that impels me to desire things that I do not need and it seems to act of its own accord.  To such an extent that it seems that I am not the one who sets out logically to analyse the suitability or necessity of acting in pursuit of a desire.  It emerges automatically or without my being aware of its cause.  Later, after the desire comes into being, then I do become entangled in it and justify it.

Desire is always a powerful force that is difficult to observe and whose origin it is difficult to identify, perhaps because it carries the promise of a reward that dazzles and seduces us.

Is that possible?  Could it be that, without realising it, we are searching for a form of easy gratification that is instant and that guides our actions?

I remember that in films about robberies, the police say that in order to find a thief you have to follow the money.  Well, we could look for the motive for our desires, by following the trail of our satisfaction.  We do not do anything without a reason.   And the search for satisfaction is always a good reason, is it not?  Such as, the satisfaction of feeling accepted, admired, loved or feared or to control, to have a business, to feel secure, to have power…

When what motivates us in our lives are desires of this kind, that are unconscious and  we seek the satisfaction of something that is not a basic need, but a compensation for invisible dissatisfactions or insecurities, we never succeed in finding the satisfaction that deep down is what we are looking for.  We are prey to desires, we do not rule our own lives, but they do with the promise of satisfaction and security.

We could explore our desires and investigate where they come from, where they lead us and decide whether they are what should rule our lives.  I know that I am leaving a lot of points here that I have not clarified, but if you observe your desires, you will be able to clarify them for yourself.

It will be your own success.