Are my involuntary thoughts unconscious projections?

Contribution by Isabel Hernández Negrín, Las Palmas, Canary Islands, Spain.

Do I think because I want to?

Often we have no desire to think of many of the things that appear on the screens in our minds.  It may be that we have some kind of task to do, like doing the washing, queuing, studying or sleeping, and despite our original intent, they materialise like those pop up ads that come up on our computers without us knowing why.

But, where do they come from?  And even more interestingly, why do they come?  I do not think that it is to entertain us, like a free smart TV.  I have paid attention to them over quite a long period of time.  I have observed the nature of the topics and whether the topics or the feelings or moods associated with them have been repeated.  And, the topic is always me.  I am the protagonist of my films.  Some are light and pleasant like a film in the slot on Saturday afternoons and I revel in the satisfaction of the moments that I relive.  Others are more troubling, I become angry or feel abandoned or offended and, of course, I often try to resolve the situation, although it is only the result of this kind of wandering.

I go over things from the past and sometimes there is an episode that raises my blood pressure and that is full of my own very particular worries.  I already said that I am the protagonist but I am also the subject.  Yes, it is me.   Always.

They are always my unresolved issues and my habitual attitude towards them. 

In this semi-dreamlike state my brain (or me) tries to seek solutions or, at least, reduce the tension that these conflicts produce in me.

Have you noticed that?

It is worth watching them.

I have learnt a lot about myself by doing it.

Each time that something from one of these films appears in my head, I observe it and pay attention to what it seeks to resolve.

If you do not watch them you will remain in a rather tense mood, but if you do, and you get to know yourself, will, I laugh and take note of it.  I do not try to stop thinking, but I do try to observe voluntarily what my mind still needs to resolve.

I recommend it to you!