Does the attachment to my memories distract me from the present?
Contributed by Isabel Hernández Negrin from Las Palmas de Gran Canaria,
If we could just pay a little attention to what our mind does! Do you realize that the person you talk the most with is yourself?
Be it explaining to yourself the things that happened or the imaginary things of the future, you are always talking to yourself right from the moment you stop doing some activity that requires your full attention. It is as if we were watching a film that our mind is showing, our own movie.
Sometimes they are insignificant things and sometimes, things that make us worried. Those episodes, which leave an impression on us emotionally, many times come back and it seems that we have a certain attachment to them; all we need to do is see how they keep repeating.
This is very evident in older people who can keep repeating the same topics of their past in every conversation.
However, even though it may seem to us that this is typical of the people who are quite old, the not very old ones also tend to do it. Whether it is the pleasant memories or the unpleasant ones, they always accompany us as if they were glued to us with a long-lasting adhesive.
Perhaps we miss the good times or fear that the bad times will repeat themselves.
The thing is that their presence creates in us a certain state of mind (longing or nostalgia, worry or fear) and this conditions whatever we do, whatever we plan, our view of the world, of ourselves.
Because of the repetitions, they become a part of our identity, and we lead a life conditioned by them. We live distracted by some old images and we end up losing the life that is outside of them, in the present moment. Our distraction allows us to live in self-absorption and away from the present, in which it seems we do not want to be included.
We reject the life that we lead and, helplessly, we take refuge in our movie. When I do not like the life I lead, whether it is because I believe I have lost something or because I am afraid of what may happen, I am not living, I am not learning, I do not see the new things that show up with their grace and their beauty, nor do I set forth on a new path. Do not let the memories guide your life, give them permission to fade away, give yourself the opportunity to see your life with new eyes, without nostalgia, without fear, or even despite them. You can take the anchor of your memories and sail away facing the wind of life and not the cave of the past.
It is much healthier and you will feel much better.