Feeling separated is an illusion that can make me sick?
Contribution by Isabel Hernández Negrín, Las Palmas, Canary Islands, Spain.
What is this about being separate?
It is not easy, since describing an experience in words is not at all easy. Although I believe that we can share the experience of always having something on our mind: judgements, thoughts, conclusions, aspirations, distractions, desires…
All of these scenarios that we create in our minds may be like the elements of a film: there are lead roles and supporting roles, there are goodies and baddies, there are plots, there are feelings; there are many things in the film that we constantly see at the back of our eyes. All of this forms a film and as with any film we identify with some parts and not others. I normally form part of the goodies. But any film is written by someone – who writes our script? Have you ever asked? What is it made of?
Focus and see if you find that one of the main protagonists is some form of fear. Fear of uncertainty, of not being accepted, of illness, of death, of not being loved, of solitude, of poverty…There is also another element, like beliefs, that helps you to develop judgements; what you believe about yourself, or about others, ideals about what you should be like, and what others, and society should be like…And in this way you start to create the film where you fight against all of those who do not believe the same as you, or do not behave as you wish. In the film you justify your past actions and validate the correctness of your beliefs and judgements. And these thoughts and beliefs that we have learnt and assumed make us adopt certain stances. I am a ‘goodie’, I possess the truth, the right opinion and others do not. We feel separated from everything else that makes us feel insecure, just because we have thought so and because we believe what we think.
We create separate identities: blacks are like this, whites are like that; materialists and spiritual beings; lazy young people and sensible adults, meat eaters and vegetarians etc. We create “fictitious identities” based on our beliefs and fears. We separate and act based on these divisions. It is the seed of any conflict, because I tend to act according to the personal projection I see before me and the only thing that I search for is to confirm that I am right. I do not want to listen, nor understand, I only want to defend my position and to feel secure. Not doing it makes me feel weak and vulnerable. All of this happens when I live in a way that is completely identified with my own projection. I see the captions but I do not see what motivates them: my fears, my beliefs and my old memories. In this state of mind, I am not free to see reality, my reality: the process that is constantly taking place in my mind, just as it does in that of other people. But if you pay attention, not just to the captions, but to what motivates the captions, then you will understand that those divisions are just devices of your thoughts driven by your fears and your memory. Then at that precise moment when you become aware of it, you will see what happens behind the screen on which your film is being projected. Now listen to your films with greater awareness, with curiosity to understand what motivates them and what drives your life. This will not happen by chance, it requires a constant intention to explore your inner being, but – is there perhaps anything more important than to free yourself from the spectre of your fears which invent a world that only exists in your imagination? Start to develop your freedom. It depends solely on you. You will confirm the results of observing the whole of this process for yourself. I am not going to tell you the end of the film, I do not want to spoil it for you! Watch, put this into practice; do not let yourself be at the mercy of your thoughts again.