Seeking for myself in others qualities does not work, It keeps me lost?
Contribution by Isabel Hernández Negrin from Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, Spain.
In life, we learn much through imitation. It’s natural during many years, almost until we reach adolescence.
Perhaps this is why, even when we’re older, we continue with this habit. Imitating was always more comfortable that going against the current. Being a rebel isn’t very accepted, in general. However, at some moment we need to wean ourselves off this. Despite this, sometimes we tend to search for orientation in the lives of others, or in their ideas or doctrines.
The inconvenient part of this is that we tend to stick with the words of those others and it’s difficult for us to embody them in our own lives. The other day I was speaking with a person who said to me, “I know what I have to do. I read a ton of books about the subject, but then I don’t do anything about it. Could it be that I don’t know how to do it?” Wanting to follow another, to seem like another, isn’t usually easy because we trip on ourselves in practice. It’s like wanting to learn to fly a plane just by reading the manuals.
My intention is good, but something’s missing. And that something is me. When something important is missing in the equation of my life, I sometimes have a certain sensation of frustration. When you feel the intention to make some important change in your life, you must throw yourself into the real practice of what you want to achieve. It’s like wanting to make a cake.
The recipe is great, but you won’t learn anything unless you get your hands in the dough. Later, based on your first experience, you can know if you need a little more of this or that. Until that moment, the recipe can seem incredible; but what it needs is for you to make it and knead it and check it and try it again, until it comes out delicious.
Following others, admiring their qualities and wanting to seem like them won’t do much for you until you make your own cake and, with your observations, improve it and feel it as your own.
Each little experience will feel more important, although you know that you’ve still got work left. So, forward! Get to kneading!