What do I #experience when I resist my #feelings?

Comment by Jose Pares Perez. Concepción, Chile.

I have concluded, based on my experience, that this question is like one of those fundamental questions we all who seek peacefulness in our lives ask ourselves. Without a doubt, if we find the answer inside of us, we will leave behind the disorientation and confusion that marks a life full of pain, suffering and pursuit to stop living like that. Answering this question is, as I friend says, “It’s the chicken in the rice with chicken” to indicate what’s important, what we should focus our attention on. It will guide our present.

Why? Because resisting what we feel is our common attitude when we feel. Changing an attitude, most times instinctive, that is deeply rooted in our habits, requires deep training. I have seen this internal process many times when I observe myself. If I resist to that thing that causes me pain, I suffer the presence of the reality that I can’t change. When my father died—I remember it clearly, as I remember my mother’s death or the death of two of my brothers—I was hit rather forcefully internally because, before that, I had never experienced death so closely and had not paid attention to its significance. I experienced a very natural intense internal pain, and it took me a lot of time to accept that pain as part of my reality. That time was full of suffering and disorientation, and I wasn’t a child, not even a young man in a couple of cases.

What I feel about the reality of what I am, and what is with me, sometimes pain, other times fear, desire, contempt, envy, disgust, anger, discouragement, etc. can make me suffer if I resist accepting what I perceive as a part of the internal or external reality of which I am a part. The natural points of this acceptance are: (a) know ourselves to seek our self-regulation and stop suffering if it’s something internal; or (b) decide that I can do it, if that’s the case, with harmony and coherence if it’s something external.

The resistance or rejection of what I’ve been dealt in life disorients me and I suffer if don’t choose my reaction wisely. Life goes on with or without me. I choose to live what I feel, what I am.