What makes me search for something permanent?
Remarks by José Parés Pérez. Concepción, Chile
I’m a permanent seeker of that which I think I don’t have. I’m going to direct my attention for just a few seconds to noticing what I’m looking for in this moment…
I’m searching for what I desire, what I think I don’t have.
For example, I’m searching for the time to write this reflection because I don’t think I’ll manage to finish it before my next commitment.
I am in this moment but I’m thinking about the next moment. And the next commitment is buying something that I’ll need later. I’ll return to this reflection later because I feel that there’s something else to my search…
Yes, effectively, there was. The unease that was avoided by finishing my reflection then was a product of my resistance to the sensation of feeling hurried. I’m unhappy when I don’t feel calm and therefore, I resist or refuse to be in that state. I don’t accept being as I am, I’m not satisfied with myself and I seek to change this or whatever situation that I resist. Calm and peace, in writing or in any other activity, can be achieved only by accepting myself just as I am.