Why do I run away from myself when I seek myself?

Commentary by José Parés Pérez. Concepción, Chile.

We constantly seek. Moreover, I think we are the living beings most addicted to seeking. We are rarely satisfied. In a certain sense, this has been beneficial to the mankind since being unsatisfied is often the inspiration for creativity. It is not possible to be ignorant of the progress that the mankind has made, thanks to its constant quest. But it must also be acknowledged that this progress has provoked a gigantic and unacceptable inequality. The magnitude of this truth cannot divert me from the subject that I was going to talk about, which is my own quest. There is no doubt that we have deviated in the search for ourselves. There is probably something in us that encourages our detour. The fact that I am the one who thinks, the one who feels, the one who gets astonished, the one who becomes happy, the one who fears and the one who runs away. There are moments in our lives, the humans, in which we intentionally pay attention to ourselves. We give ourselves orders to achieve a goal, to fulfil a desire, to like someone. We begin to understand that there is someone here who does not possess everything that he or she would like to possess.

I realize my shortcomings, to always be or feel good. It is a crucial moment in our lives; we have this moment on many, many occasions and it continues to be a crucial moment. We go looking for what we think we lack and we have two options: I search for it outside or I search for it within myself.

Very often, when we think we know ourselves adequately, I’m not satisfied with myself, I do not like myself, I lack something, I have to keep searching. And so the decision easily becomes a result of my ignorance: I look outside.

There is nothing outside of me that I no longer have. I am what the mankind is. I have everything to achieve that my nature suggests to me after achieving all the fundamental characteristics of nature: Harmony, Coherence, Peace.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing in the nature that defies these three laws. Equilibrium is the essence of whatever there is, although sometimes it may seem to us that it is not so. The reunion with the equilibrium can sometimes be violent, but it is finally achieved and the violence disappears.